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Facemelt

That image can basically sum up what watching Ultimate Spider-Man did to me...

Yeah, this show is bad, but the fact that it's gone on for so long and has already been renewed for yet another season (the fourth one now, surpassing Spectacular Spider-Man and Avengers: EMH by two seasons) proves a sad point... that kids are brain-dead idiots who will watch literally everything.


Yeah, they're stupid.

I mean, I get enough of my niece and nephew singing "Shut Up and Dance With Me" to already know that fact, but the fact that kids watch and apparently love Ultimate Spider-Man is even more evidence.

The characters? Well, God, it's not even Spider-Man. Remember when Peter Parker was an awkward outsider who had to focus on responsibility and fight crime alone while struggling to keep his life as a normal teenager from falling apart. Now, he's a cool kid (with just ONE guy who picks on him) who works as a government agent as the leader of a group of teenage superheroes. And of course it's SHIELD.

What about his teammates?

They are all one dimensional characters boiled down to one specific trait for each of them. Iron Fist? "A total zen surfer dude, maaaan". Nova? "I'm totally the AWESOMEST ONE and by the way SPIDEY IS A NERD LOL LOL LOL!". White Tiger? "I'm a girl so I'm automatically better than all of you STUPID BOYS because... that's the writers' understanding of gender equality... also I'm SMART and I'm obsessed with school and the rules and I'M JUST A PARTY POOPER, AIN'T I?". Power Man? "I'm black.".


That's literally their personalities.


With this and Teen Titans Go, it seems kids just don't like superheroes. Instead they like dumb comedy shows like Regular Show and Clarence, and Marvel and DC are trying to cash in on that clearly. Oh, yeah, this isn't nearly as bad as Teen Titans Go but it's close. At least they still do superhero stuff... sometimes. I mean, it's never anything serious (and when they try to be serious it's... really not) and the villains aren't really developed, nor do they get actual origin stories or anything, they literally just show up most of the time. And it's pretty clear that it all takes a back-seat to the team's "wise"-cracking.

"Web-Head, more like DUMB-Head!" - Nova, probably

So, yeah. I don't like it.




Bye.

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