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This article, Earth-500 Volume 1 Issue 1, is property of Jacky 50A.

Suicidal Tendencies
Volume 1, Issue 1
500V1I1
Date of Release 4th of March, 2017
Written by Jacky 50A
Illustrated by Jacky 50A
Synopsis The Multiverse has always been unique. It is the home to a multitude of alternate realities, with each realities having their own uniqueness. But one particular universe is... maybe too crazy for comic readers to comprehend. Introducing, Earth-500!
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Earth-500 Volume 1 Issue 2
Quote1DON'T YOU F*CKING DISTURB ME, MY TEA, AND MY TEEVEE!!!Quote2
--Dirk Anger


Part of The Beginning story arc.

Appearing in Suicidal Tendencies

Featured Characters

Supporting Characters

Location

  • HATE Aeromarine, UNN "Epsilon"
  • Dubai, United Arab Emirates

Plot for Suicidal Tendencies

The comic started with a multitude of pure-black panels, with multiple boxes appearing. The boxes were actually quotes by an unknown individual who stated that life's hard, and it's harder as the leader of something. But then the boxes gave in a more... suggestive quote; the speaker broke the fourth wall immediately after a few words, telling the writer to just start the comic and jump into the action roughly. Then, the comic opened up with the view of Dirk Anger, inside his Aeromarine, sitting on a coach while watching Inglourious Basterds, enjoying a tea as well. Dirk was seen to be enjoying the movie, smirking at one point at it. As he's watching, in front of him, a shark seemingly tried to devour him, but ended up biting the bulletproof glass of his office, located on the very bottom of the ship. Dirk, eyes still on a scene involving Lt. Aldo Raine, pressed a red button on his sofa's right arm-rest, which resulted in the shark being electrocuted by the ship's tesla generator. He casually ignored it, and kept on watching the legendary movie. In the background, his assistant and right-hand woman, Victoria Hand, looked at the ever-enjoying director in a look of concern. Her eyes were in doubt, her pupils tilting everywhere, and she didn't know what to say. She then broke the silence of enjoyment by telling Dirk of the update of the latest mission. Dirk cared do not about it, and told her to go back to the control room where she could **** herself up. Hand insisted, and told him that Agent Hashim and the other agents were overwhelmed by the sheer force of the supervillains. Dirk still watched the movie, until Hand repeatedly "shouted" at him. Dirk got provoked, and finally relented, but not after he had screamed at Hand not to disturb him. He turned off his TV, and went to face Victoria himself. For a second, he stood motionlessly in front of his assistant, with Victoria sweating out of fear; she's a greenhorn anyway. Dirk himself saw Victoria in the "most hideous way she could ever dreamed of", but surprised her by kindly asking her of the update. Hand sighed in relief, but Dirk told her not to interrupt him again next time.

The two went for a walk to the command room, which was shown as a gigantic room filled with a multitude of agents, scientists, and big-screened computers. At the center of the command room, an enormous... jumbotron showed Dirk images of the Knight's fight with two supervillains: Black Talon and Melter, by himself. Dirk told Victoria that he forgot about the intel of those second-rate villains. Victoria's mind mocked Dirk in the form of comic boxes, but she then informed Dirk that the only thing he should know was that the two were wanted by multiple nations. She proceeded to tell him that it's a rare occasion for these two to team-up, too, so there could be a larger scheme going on here. Dirk responded by partly breaking the fourth wall, saying that he didn't like her possibly spoiling all the fun, and said that it's time to see how it went down there.

Dubai, United Arab Emirates, 12.00 AM

The Knight was then shown combatting multiple zombies with a dwindling number of HATE agents, with Melter and Black Talon wrecking havoc around the city. After the Knight decapitated five zombies with a single swing of his scimitar, he contacted Dirk, telling him that the swarm of zombies Talon spawned hindered their progress. Dirk responded by telling him that with hinderances, it didn't mean that he couldn't take down the two of them. Knight replied by saying that it's not that easy dealing with the undead. Dirk facepalmed back at the base, and told him that he's gonna be the back-up. He quickly cut the comms, with the Knight's face in shock. Before he could continue his shock face, the villain Melter decided to take things into his own hands and faced the Knight. Melter shot a beam of energy to him while hovering, but the Knight evaded it while leaping over a multitude of zombies. He then attempted to give Mr. Horgan a cut, but the Melter choked him mid-air. Melter taunted him by asking him if HATE's getting more insane by having simply one enhanced agent in the field to handle such situations. He told him that he also had heard of him several times, identifying him as Navid Hashim, a disgraced man from a broken country. Navid immediately kicked his groin and told him that it's not that easy to get inside a person's head. The Knight quickly somersaulted the villain, mid-air, with the help of his suit, which allows him to float for a limited amount of time. Knocked back, Navid landed gracefully, delivering a spinning attack that leaves many zombies having their heads and limbs dismembered. But then, before he could continue his assault, Black Talon from afar, shielded with a magical barrier, conjured an undead hand from the ground that restrained the Arabian Knight. Bringing him down, the Knight's scimitar was then disarmed by the newly-recovered Melter. Seeing seemingly no hope, he stood down, while he saw the agents getting devoured. Talon and Melter approached him, telling him that it's his first time seeing a stupid man being sent to stop them, a duo of powerful villains. Laughing, Navid then told them that they're nothing but second-rate villains that hadn't even blown up the large building behind them: the Burj Khalifa. Navid would only be surprised when Melter mentioned that "someone else's gonna do that in a minute". He proceeded to tell them that one way or another, he'd defeat them, even if it's gonna result in his death. Now, it's Black Talon's turn to laugh. He asked him if there were any other ways that he could use to defeat them. And the Arabian Knight responded by saying this,

Hashimdead

Melter immediately charged both of his high-energy blasters, and Talon prepared a powerful magical blast. However, the two were left open to an assault made by Navid's back-up, the Director of HATE himself. Using the Aeromarine's teleportation portal, Dirk inserted himself directly to the hot-zone, and ended up delivering an elbow drop to Black Talon while kicking Melter's head. With this, Navid was freed from the restraint due to Talon's damage, and immediately took his scimitar back. While the two were temporarily down, Dirk told him that there's nothing to worry about now. Navid told him about an impending bomb threat, however, which Melter mentioned. Dirk asked him where, and Navid pointed to the iconic Burj Khalifa skyscraper. Dirk responded by shaking his head while saying, "O'... boy!"

Dirk proceeded to tell him that if they're gonna handle the bombs, they had to take down Talon and Melter first. At the same time, Talon and Melter got up, and the duo fought against their... opposites. After a lengthy fight, the heroic duo managed to defeat the other duo. Dirk then grabbed the downed Melter by the neck and punches him with his superhuman fist, asking him about the "bombs". Melter then spit on Dirk's face, prompting him to choke him even harder and deliver another punch. Melter asked him to soften his grip, so that he could tell him of it. Dirk ignored the statement, and kept asking him the same question. But after a multitude of beatings, Melter finally got knocked out. Dirk then shouted out in anger, with his agents looking at him, tired and battered. Dirk then ordered Navid to "interrogate" the other one, but before that could happen, Talon woke up and blasted the approaching Arabian Knight using his dark magic, injuring him. Dirk tried to approach Talon, but he teleported himself and Melter to an unspecified location. Dirk's eyes then widened, and he sighed in desperation. Dirk looked at the injured Navid, who got up and told him that he's fine. Dirk replied by saying that being blasted by a houngan was no joke. Navid insulted the injury, though. The two were then approached by the captain of the local police force, which told him that groups of white-clad armed men were swarming the lobby of the Burj Khalifa. Knowing this, Dirk turned to Navid and told him that the day's gonna be longer than he thought it'd be.

Meanwhile, while the white-uniformed soldiers swarmed the lobby, an unknown figure looked from afar on top of another building. In his mind, he stated to himself that it's another time those soldiers terrorized a nation. He must do something about it, but he didn't want to terrify the public as well. However, another part of his mind told him that it's best for him to wipe them out brutally, as they terrorized most nations in the Middle-East in the past few weeks. But the normal mind of this man said that he didn't want to make another incident like the one he experienced a year ago. The other part reassured him that everything's going to be fine, and things would go worse if he didn't act now. The normal mind finally agreed with the other mind, but told "it" that no one's gonna die today. The man then revealed himself as Moon Knight, the Fist of Khonshu, proceeding to jump off the building he's on, gliding to the lobby.

While in the lobby, the soldiers planted multiple explosives while taking several people hostages. Their "commander", armed with a submachine gun, commanded some of the troops to go up to plant more explosives. When the troops tried to enter the elevator, they're interrupted by the newly arrived HATE agents. The HATE agents opened fire on the soldiers, which Dirk identified as ULTIMATUM scumbags. After a brief firefight, Dirk "asked for permission" to throw one of the police trucks on the scene, which the previous captain allowed. Dirk then lifted it up with his strength, and threw it at the ULTIMATUM troops, killing a good amount of soldiers while incapacitating the commander. Dirk then led the charge against them, but bad news: more ULTIMATUM soldiers showed up on scene, and now they're bringing heavy weapons and vehicles. The previous soldiers did plant the explosives, but without the right detonator, they're screwed. As the new ULTIMATUM soldiers took on the local police, some of them surrounded the HATE agents. Navid told Dirk that they couldn't win against them this time, because they're too much. Dirk responded by telling him to pray to his God. As they proceed to prepare their last stand, another figure joined the fray: Moon Knight.

Moon Knight entered by kicking a minigun-wielding soldier while gliding, and proceeded to beat down most of the soldiers by himself. Amazed, Dirk asked Arabian Knight about who the bastard is. Navid, with a seemingly angry face, told him that he knew of him, but loathed him due to his unstable mind. Soon, Dirk and Arabian Knight joined the fight and they all managed to defeat the ULTIMATUM forces. However, they soon realized that the bombs were not meant to be detonated to explode; there were already bombs in Burj Khalifa, and a nearly-dead ULTIMATUM soldier confirmed it. Within seconds, the skyscraper blew up to pieces, with debris falling upon the heroes. They managed to get out alive of the situation, but Dirk was surprised by this. Dirk saw the destruction with a poker-face bland expression, and told himself that he should've been there earlier, but admitted that Inglourious Basterds could not be resisted...

HATE Aeromarine, North Atlantic Ocean

8 hours after the incident, Dirk and his crew of HATErs agents returned to the Aeromarine, the base of the organization known as the Highest Anti-Terrorism Effort. Inside the Aeromarine, Arabian Knight tended to his wounds by himself while he and Victoria Hand were summoned by Dirk himself. Sitting down in front of Dirk's office table, Navid asked Dirk what really happened a moment ago. Dirk gestured the two to come to him, and the duo obeyed. Dirk then pulled out a small laptop and turned it on. Hand awkwardly asked why he pulled it out. The duo were then surprised of what they saw on the laptop: the background photo of Dirk, still in his Director of HATE outfit posing with his grandmother. In an instance, Victoria's eyes widened, and Navid, while looked OK, had his mind out of control. Dirk calmly opened up the desktop in his computer, went to the "videos" section, and a particularly interesting video title opened up: H@T3 D33Z. Dirk clicked it twice, opening it. Then he began to speak things up to the two. The video consisted of a montage of the various things Dirk gathered about ULTIMATUM, the world's most dangerous terrorist organization. In one of the sections of the video, one figure stood out from the rest of the ULTIMATUM soldiers. Knight asked who that was, and Dirk immediately told him that he's the Flag-Smasher, or known as Karl Morgenthau. Knight asked again whether he's supposed to be a super-important person or no, and "no one" was the answer he got. However, Dirk said that he knew bits of Karl's background, but it's so convoluted that he couldn't comprehend it. After the video finished, a little moment of silence happened. Dirk broke it by telling them if they wanted to watch cat videos; Victoria professionally said no, but Navid said the opposite thing. Hand looked at him, and Hashim responded by telling him that he needed to look at cute cats as a break. Navid's hope however, was broken when Dirk told him that he had been preparing for stuff like this to happen. Dirk explained that while ULTIMATUM was a small organization in the Cold War era, it had gathered enough strength for the past few decades to become the strongest terrorist organization in the world. And terrorists are HATE's main specialty of dealing with. But with ULTIMATUM's power to do what they were supposed to do the first time--overthrowing and destroying nations--Dirk, as a director, had to do something... revolutionary in order to combat this ultimate threat. Standing up, he then dramatically declared to the duo that the Initiative must be started, and it's time to gather special people. And he finally said, that it's time to start the Defenders Initiative, while he stood up and clenched his fist upwards. However, Victoria broke the dramatism by telling him that he never told them about such "initiative". Dirk then facepalmed, and told them that he'd tell them everything they need to know tomorrow. And after those, the first story of this comic ends.

Appearing in ULTIMATUM

Featured Characters

Supporting Characters

Note: Minor characters will not get their own pages.

Location

  • France
  • Symkaria
  • Brazil

Plot for ULTIMATUM

Courchevel, France

A young boy was seen playing with robot toys in his bedroom. He was playing so enthusiastically that he couldn't hear the shouts of his parents fighting each other. While doing so, an unknown figure narrated the story in black-coloured boxes. The figure told the readers when he was young, he never really understood things. His father was a Swiss diplomat, but he never got the chance to stay at one place for at least two days. Rich, yes. Loved? No. The narrator continued his speech, telling us that while he enjoyed many things when he was a child, the only thing he never experienced was love. They bought him toys, he played with them, and that's all; they never cared.

Back to the child, while he's still enjoying playing, his father burst into his room, and without any emotion, told him that they're leaving soon to go to Symkaria. Straight after telling him of that, his father immediately left without saying anything else, and the child looked at his robot toys. With his feelings mixed, the child stood up and unwillingly prepared his globe-patterned bag for the next journey.

Symkaria

The narrator continued by saying that Symkaria would be his defining moment, when the light of truth enlightened him. The child was seen walking by his parents' side to the Swiss embassy in Symkaria. There were matters to be discussed by his father and the nation's president. He and his mother were ordered to wait. However, the child would see an atrocity committed right in front of him. Right after exiting the embassy, the child's father was then shot by an sniper, seventy kilometres away from a high-rise building. The narrator then continued to converse, telling the readers that the bullet that killed his father was known to be only used by the most skilled mercenary and assassin in Symkaria. But the killing changed his entire life. He saw that Symkaria was already a failed nation, and to avenge his father (even though he didn't care much) and achieve his new, enlightening life-goal, he sought to overthrow nations and destroy the very foundation of nationalism, as well as patriotism. And now, he has the means to do so.

Brazil

Skipping years later to the present day of 2010, the man who narrated the initial story was revealed to be the Leader of ULTIMATUM, Karl Morgenthau, AKA Flag-Smasher. Still "narrating", Karl recited in his mind that nothing would ever be able to stop him, and even if he could encounter the same assassin that killed his father, a bullet to the chest won't stop him. Back to reality, Flag-Smasher was seen walking through the Brazilian rainforest, with a group of ULTIMATUM agents walking behind him. Alongside him, his two most trusted "henchmen", or at best, brothers were seen "guarding" him. One of them a seemingly mad Spaniard dressed in red and blue, and armed with a sword. This man is known as Alejandro Montoya, AKA El Aguila. And the other one was a completely different man. He looked normal; as normal as any brute could know. This man's the complete opposite of Montoya. With an M60 held in hand, accompanied by a terrifying face and body-build, his name is Barracuda. His real name, however, lost in his memories. While walking, in his thick Spanish accent, Aguila asked Flag-Smasher what were they doing again that time, in which Morgenthau gave a simple answer: they're there to deal. Aguila guessed that this was one of his more unconventional methods of overthrowing a nation, because they never had to deal when trying to overthrow nations. Barracuda harshly shut down Aguila by telling him that they haven't even overthrown one nation so far, and attacking them head-on would be stupid. Flag-Smasher calmly told them that they had destroyed one: Symkaria, before the two joined. Aguila sarcastically got amazed, but his humorous nature was shut down by Barracuda once again who got irritated by him and cocked his M60. Flag-Smasher then smirked, and ordered his troops to stand down. In the woods, everything's possible, and with the country's "dark side" being extremely dangerous, Smasher guessed that their "clients" weren't accepting them. Aguila asked why he said that, and Flag-Smasher showed him a wire between two large trees that looked nearly invisible. Barracuda let out a singular, but huge laugh, saying that the "clients" were stupid enough to try to kill them. One of the troops then asked Morgenthau of what to do; Morgenthau asked him to hand over his grenade, which he obliged. Morgenthau pulled out the pin, and threw it at the middle of the woods. It immediately exploded, and brought down the trees that were standing in their way, all booby trapped. Analyzing the environment, Smasher than signaled his men to push forward. While so, Barracuda smirked and mocked the "clients", saying, "Stupid IEDs."

Meanwhile, on a military base not too far from the marching ULTIMATUM, a military general was seen pacing around, back and forth inside his office. His right-hand man, Souza, told him that everything's going to be fine the moment they arrived here. The general, Castelo, told him that it might be a bad decision of dealing with them. Castelo thought to himself that he may have hated his own country, but should he go this far? Captain Souza arranged the meeting in said military base, away from any other interruptions. The general finally settled down, sitting on his chair and breathing heavily. The view than switches to the exterior of the base, where apparently the soldiers there were not true Brazilian soldiers, but various militia from the many dark corners of the nation. Captain Souza went out of the office to check whether the ULTIMATUM troops have arrived or not, and yes, they have arrived. Knocking on the front gates, literally, Flag-Smasher spoke in Portuguese to the gate watchers that they're here to meet General Castelo. After muttering to one another, the sentries then opened the gate, with Captain Souza greeting them. The two shook hands, but knowing that Souza's still referred as a captain, Morgenthau's face visibly expressed disappointment. But nevertheless, he told him to bring him to Castelo. Souza did arrange the meeting, but he knew nothing of what the deal's gonna be. Smasher told his troops to stand down, as well as Aguila and Barracuda. Souza escorted him to the general, and while so, the ULTIMATUM troops were surrounded by the seemingly nominally-larger militia. Barracuda broke the momentary silence by asking if anyone wanted to play Russian Roulette, showing his Smith & Wesson Model 29-2.

Souza and Morgenthau finally arrived in Castelo's office, where the general was visibly concerned. Karl immediately took a seat and greeted Castelo. Castelo greeted back, and Karl immediately started conversing with him. Karl told him that it's a rare occasion to see someone that at least is similar to him to a degree. Castelo agreed, and told him that Brazil's truly a failed nation, and it'd be better for this world to be without it. Morgenthau laughed wildly after hearing it, and told him that that's the most ridiculous nation-destroying reason he has ever heard. But, Morgenthau quickly became serious once he asked him of the "biological weapon" Castelo promised him in the deal conversation. Castelo thought about lying to Flag-Smasher, as his loyalty to his people was still present. Castelo then told Flag-Smasher that due to technical problems, even a small canister of the bio-weapon could not be delivered. Flag-Smasher then raised one of his eyebrows, and menacingly said, "Technical problems?"

Castelo mumbled yes, and Smasher went another way. Smasher asked him where could he get it, and Castelo said that it's located in a secret government facility underneath the Iguazu Falls. Smasher then quickly said thank you, and he'd be on his way by then. Castelo sighed in relief, until Smasher stood up and asked him to walk with him in a scary tone.

Souza followed his superior and Flag-Smasher walking outside, where they could see Barracuda playing Russian Roulette with some of the militia; Barracuda's been shot twice, and none of the militia got shot. While walking down his office's stairs that led down to the courtyard, Smasher asked Barracuda how it was going there. Barracuda "complained" by telling how that these militia were extremely lucky. Smasher then secretly performed a gesture that signaled his troops to get ready. In the middle of the courtyard, Flag-Smasher patted Castelo's back gently. Castelo asked what he was doing, and Flag-Smasher responded by slamming his face to the ground and pulling out his retractable spiked mace, aiming it at his head. In reflex, the militia aimed at Karl and ULTIMATUM at the same time, and the troops were ready to return fire at them, even if their numbers were greater.

Karl told Castelo that he's not stupid, and he knew that his loyalty still resided somewhere inside his heart. He also knew the characteristics of a lying person, and he hates lies. He threatened to pull out his "corrupted" heart if he did not tell him the location of the bio-weapon. Castelo instead turned to Souza, casually watching all the commotion. In Portuguese, he told him to not just stand there and kill the bastard. However, Souza responded by signaling him: NO. In Portuguese too, Flag-Smasher called Souza a good boy, and Castelo a bad man. He then proceeded to tell Castelo to look at his so-called men. He wanted him to remember their faces, because in a matter of minutes, at least 398 wives would lose their husbands. Castelo blatantly said no, and Smasher smashed his mace down, knocking out the general. In retaliation, the militia opened fire on Smasher, but the ULTIMATUM soldiers were already prepared. A huge fight then ensued between the two sides, with Barracuda and El Aguila taking part as well. Using his surprising agility, assassin skills, and sword mastery, El Aguila managed to deflect several bullets from multiple assault rifles simultaneously and kill them with grace. Barracuda, on the other hand, inhumanly tanked all the damage thrown at him, mowing down the militia with his M60 while killing some with his machete or bare hands.

After a lengthy fight, the knocked-out general woke up, and saw only white-clad soldiers and the tyrants standing over legions of his dead men. With a bleeding nose, Castelo stood up, and faced Flag-Smasher. Before that, he took a look around of the corpses, then he burst out in tears. Smasher approached him and crouched down, telling him that there's no need for him to cry. He told him that he'd be happy if he told him the location of the bio-weapon. Castelo then revealed the bio-weapon's location, which was apparently located in Nova Iguaç, where a secret research base resided in. Flag-Smasher then smiled and stood up. He then saw the unconcerned Souza standing with an expression of joy. Souza told Smasher that while he couldn't be part of the ULTIMATUM, he hoped that his efforts would be successful in the future. Smasher replied by telling him that it wouldn't be successful in the future. It'd be successful even from now. Smasher continued by asking Souza if he would sacrifice his life for the sake of ULTIMATUM, in which Souza said yes. Immediately, Morgenthau said good, and told him that he's gonna keep his mouth shut forever. More specifically, Smasher himself would become the one who shut his mouth up, forever. Souza took the nearby Barracuda's revolver, and shot him with it in the head. A hole immediately appeared on the young captain's forehead, and he fell to the ground. Smasher then turned to Castelo once again, and signaled his brothers to come closer. He then said, "As for you... I will let my comrades do anything they want to you..."

Barracuda smiled, but Aguila felt normal. Still, the weakened general then passed out, and Barracuda carried him away on his shoulder. Flag-Smasher then told his troops to set destination to Nova Iguaçu to claim the bio-weapon. In a matter of moments, the troops assembled their lines once again, and with the trio leading the lines, they march to Nova Iguaçu... or somewhere else first. And straight after that, the second and final story of this issue ends.

Trivia

  • This is the first issue to have an extra story right near the end of the comic.
  • One of the supporting characters of ULTIMATUM, Captain Souza, is inspired by a character from another franchise, which is Capitao from Rainbow Six Siege.
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