Talk:Contender Vol 1 1/@comment-28063203-20180517214318

It was pretty okay, I think you could've done better in some areas like Bionicle said. There was too much exposition, and most of it is just narration, and you're usually telling us right before something happens that something is going to happen, like the ending felt cheapened when you said "However, that was the day that everything changed," so the surprise felt a bit weaker.

Also, did nobody care that Ethan just flung himself into a forest really fast, or was he just so fast they didn't notice...? I feel like that's something people would mention...

Still, it had good moments. I liked a lot of the worldbuilding, like All-Star (I didn't expect that ending) and Maverick (what did happen to him?).